Pyjama Shopping

The idea behind this blog is to have a laugh and mock people. As it turns out, I mainly mock myself and that’s fine with me because I think it’s important to laugh at yourself. I don’t blog about specific races, religions, creeds or minority groups as I have a simple belief that we should all be able to live side by side regardless of beliefs and practices. I do however have an issue with one type of person. I’m talking about the person who wears pyjamas while going to the shops. Just because I don’t understand why people do this, doesn’t mean I can’t try and understand it. My question to you is - why the bejaysus would anyone wear pjs to the shops? Answers on a stripy cotton postcard please or more to the point, click on the comment link at the bottom of the post. Billy Y

Weekend v Weekdays

I was thinking of calling Sundays ‘Goodbye to the weekend Sunday’ but then I changed my mind. I’ve yet to figure out how the weekend seems to pass by so quickly and the working week seems to take forever. The simple answer would be that you can do your own thing at the weekend and have fun but during the week you have work. This of course could be changed. For a start, they put a bar in work and allow us to watch football. Next they could declare a 4 day week for all (with 5 days salary of course!) but I’m not going to hold my breath!

Shatner in the sky with diamonds

Shatner Friday has arrived again folks and all is right with the world. If you’re like me, (and be thankful you’re not!) you’ll often wonder what Bill Shatner would of sounded like if he was in The Beatles. Thankfully, the internets have already done the work for us. One of the best Beatles songs ever = Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. The one guy who beats The Hoff at his own game = Bill Shatner. Put them together and you get what I will term ‘Animated Culture’. Sometimes brilliance is hard to describe so just enjoy this epic spectacle of superstardom. Bill Y

The Open Happiness Song & Video

Deciding what clips to post isn’t an easy task. I don’t have any quality control test which means If I’m thinking of something funny, you’ll get something funny or if I’m thinking of something musical, you’ll get something musical, and so on, etc and stuff. I came across a video which I thought was uplifting but was surprised to find out it was used in an ad for a famous fizzy drink. That kind of bothered me but if I can pretend that I never knew it was used in the ad, I might just be alright. The band is called Open Happiness which features well known musicians from fairly well known bands of the moment and the video is called The Open Happiness Video. Have a look & Listen. Bill Y

How do you measure the good in people?

It’s 9:50pm on Friday. You come across a cheap flight which is leaving early on the following Monday morning but you have work on Monday. You’re not the type of person who calls in sick unless you are actually sick so the only thing you can do is ask your boss for the time off. The problem is that it’s 9:50 pm on Friday and it usually takes a fair bit of time and planning from the office end to organise time off work. You realise that your boss is in the office until 10 pm so you send off a quick email, more in desperation than hope. A couple of minutes later you receive an email from your boss confirming you have the time off. The organisation I work for relies heavily on rules, regulations and compliance. Strictly speaking I shouldn’t of been given the time off but my boss was a very reasonable person who always helped the staff when it was possible. In return, she had our respect and we were always on hand to do her a favour when we could. She helped create a sense of harmony within the team and we appreciated her. Although she is not my direct boss anymore, she still works in the same office. I must send her a link to this post and ask her to leave a comment about it. Bill Y

Ladies of the world

I was gonna tell you a story about the time I fell out of a window on christmas day and ended up in A & E but I thought a Flight of the Conchord clip would be funnier. This is called - Ladies of the world. Bill Y

Will will be forever indebted to his parents

Parents who encourage their kids to play a musical instrument are giving their kids a head start in life in more ways than they know. Young Will starts playing drums when he’s small and learns about complex rhythms as he improves. Before you know it, Will is a growing lad and is out dancing with his friends and taking an interest in girls. Due to Will’s understanding of music, he’s quite a dancer and one thing all girls know is – You can tell what a guy will be like in bed by the way he dances. So Will grows up with a head start and he will always be grateful for the leg up!

What money tree?

I like words, use them a lot and am one of those people who has books full of them. When I was small, I wanted everything and was constantly told that money doesn't grow on trees. Now I am not small and I still want everything. I sometimes wonder why I was told that money doesn't grow on trees. I never for one moment thought that it did. I always thought money grew in banks and I'm sure you have your own opinion on that!

Shatner Friday and all is good.

This Shatner Friday started the same as last Shatner Friday. I had every intention of mocking Bill Shatner but yet again, the mans utter brilliant genius grabbed me in a vice like grip and refused to let go. In 2004, Shatner released his second album entitled Has Been. The album was produced and arranged by Ben Folds and most of the songs are co-written by Folds and Shatner, with Folds creating arrangements for Shatner's prose-poems. This track is called ‘It hasn’t happened yet’ and is musically and lyrically as solid as something really solid. Christina commented on the Shatner Friday post of August 14th and liked Fleming McWilliams who done backing vocals on the ‘In Love’ track. She pops up again on this one and she is totally on form. This one’s for you Christina. Enjoy everybody. Bill Y

Expert in expertise

Like most people these days, I don’t have an excessive amount of money. Because of this, I was thinking of setting up a buisness. I was advised to go into a field where I have a degree of expertise so I’m thinking of setting myself up as an ‘Executive Bullshit Expert’. As those who know me will testify, I’ve been talking crap for so long now that I can sense bullshit within a 6.21371192 Kilometer radius. I reckon I’m highly qualified to spot others who do the same. The work could be quite rewarding. I could be employed to tell you if your partner is cheating on you. I could find work in courtrooms and tell if property developers are lying. I could probably even get a gig at job interviews and let the employer know which potential candidates are lying through their teeth. Actually forget about ‘Executive Bullshit Expert’, I think I could be a ‘Senior Executive Bullshit Expert’ and charge more!

Mine would be 'Sarcastic Bastard'. What would yours be?

I was joking with a friend from work the other day (she’ll get a kick out of me calling her a friend) when I said that if you could bottle my personality, you could sell it and make a fortune. Then I started wondering what name you would give to a bottle of your personality. I suppose music people and actor people are already selling fragrances which are marketed as an extension of their personality but what if I was to ask for a bottle of ‘Sarcastic Bastard’. Would the assistant get it? Or maybe I could go in wearing my ‘I’m a Sarcastic Bastard’ t-shirt and then ask for the product! Under the first picture on the top left of the page is a poll which asks ‘If you could sell a bottle of your personality, what would you call it?’ Go and answer the poll. Alternatively, please leave a comment at the end of this post and let me know if there is a different name you would use. Be cool now, don’t go making me delete any words not suitable for my 8 year old twin! Bill Y

You like or you no like?

Beautiful women and beautiful women who can sing beautifully. I like, I like, I like. Nouvelle Vague are a band from France who play bossa nova covers of 7os and 80s punk and new wave songs. Very often their versions are better than the original tracks. This performance is from a tv show in France and is a cover of the Depeche Mode song Just Can’t Get Enough, with a little help from Moby. Friends have varying opinions of the clip. Some think the girls are great singers, some don’t like them at all. One thing is for sure, they’re very classy ladies. See what you think and let me know. Bill Y

Sport Bill Y

I like watching sport. I don’t actually play sport but I watch a lot on television. For some reason, as I sit back in my chair, I feel like I have this god given right to criticise the professional athlete for not reaching 100% in their chosen field. A recent example of this would be Padraig Harrington who lost to Tiger Woods in the 2009 World Golf Championship at Firestown. Padraig made one mistake and his chances of beating Tiger were gone. I screamed abuse at the television and Padraig for slipping up. Could I have beaten Tiger Woods? No answer is required but I felt like I could criticise Padraig for making a solitary mistake in an otherwise perfect display. I think it was more to do with the fact that he was Irish and I was willing him to win, rather than anything else but I felt personally let down that he did lost. The less talent I have in a sport, the louder I scream abuse at the television. The neighbours have since bought headphones so they don’t have to listen to my angry outbursts!

I'm one month old today

Today is the 16th of the month. A month ago, it was the 16th of last month and the day the blog was born. That means the blog is one month old today. It’s been a learning experience. We had our first legend – Terry Bush who wrote ‘The Littlest Hobo’ theme tune, leave a comment. Terry told us he was a big fan of the mash up of the Lily Allen/Littlest Hobo track. You can watch the video and check Terry’s comments in the ‘Lilyest Hobo’ post of Thurs Aug 6th. Two weeks ago we created Shatner Friday where Fridays posts are dedicated to the one and only Bill Shatner. In a perfect world Shatner Friday would be a bank holiday but it’s not a perfect world we live in. I'm working on a few things including turning water into wine and sneezing with my eyes open! Thanks to all who’ve dropped by and left comments at the end of the posts. Now we need to take it to the next level. Stay tuned for that. It should be fun.

Bill Y

Rules are stupid

Rules are stupid. The 'rule of thumb' has been said to derive from the belief that English law allowed a man to beat his wife with a stick so long as it is was no thicker than his thumb! There is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", so wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong? In Seattle, 'you may not carry a concealed weapon that is over six feet in length'. 364 days of the year, parents impose a rule on their kids about never accepting candy from a stranger. Then on Halloween, the rule goes totally out the window and the kids are encouraged to take candy from strangers. As I said, rules are stupid.

It's Shatner Friday!

I can’t believe it’s end of the week already which can only mean one thing: It’s Shatner Friday! Some things are just too easy. I was all ready to mock Bill Shatner until I came across a piece of brilliance. Ben Folds is a great musician. In November 1998, Ben and friends released an experimental album called 'Fear of Pop: Volume 1'. It was a one off album and Bill Shatner provided vocals on two tracks. This song is called ‘In Love’ and is from the Conan O’Brien show. If you come across a copy of the album, grab it and have a listen. For now, enjoy the genius that is The Shatner.

Golf and Soccer are not the same

I never thought I would appreciate golf. To me, golf is like soccer only the ball is much smaller and you have to get it in the hole rather than the goal and you use a golf club rather than your foot to score and lots of people don’t try and take the ball from you while you get ready for a shot unless your golfing opponents are massively confused with the difference between golf and soccer, in which case they might try and take the ball from you while you get ready for a shot. If this happens you should throw the rattle out of the pram and throw a tantrum. It’s just not cool to be attacked by a soccer team, while playing golf though I suppose you’re the one with the 9-iron!

You will not believe me until.....

Hey people. You may not believe this but there is a condition called Alien Hand Syndrome. What the bejaysus is that, I hear you murmur. In a nutshell, Alien Hand Syndrome is like hands which have a seperate brain where the hands decide to do what they want, rather than what you want them to do. I know, it sounds kinda off the wall but I played a gig where my hands played different notes to a song I knew very well. It was terrifying. I was willing my fingers to play certain notes but Alien Hand Syndrome took over and my hand played random notes in a different timing and in a different key. I know you don’t believe me and this is why I leave you a url to the How Stuff Works site which explains it all. You can apologise for not believing me, later.

http://health.howstuffworks.com/alien-hand.htm

Bill Y

The proof is in the abacus

Using mathematics, I can tell that it's been 5 days since I posted a Flight of the Conchords clip. Prepare to laugh.

Letters make words

Hey people, when I began to write this blog the one thing I promised myself is that I would write what first comes to mind. Due to the fear of offending people, I have already gone back on my word. However it ends here. I offer you a poem. It’s called

Ode to a bitch

Performance, It’s all performance.
From eyelid opening in yawning state
to lucid dreams which dissipate.
Performance, it’s all performance.

Bill Y

Gis a job

In the happy place where I work, a job was recently advertised for a position in the canteen. 250 people applied for the solitary job. If it was up to me, I would visit each and every one of the applicants and advise them to look elsewhere. This is not because the canteen is a bad place to work. On the contrary, the staff are very nice and I’m sure there are a lot worse jobs you could end up doing. I’m writing these words by way of a diary entry. I will wait a while until the new employee settles in, ask them to comment on these words and see if I was wrong!

The good and the bad of music

Today's first post involves two names you never thought you would see together, Nirvana and Rick Astley. I have my own opinion of what Kurt would make of this one. See for yourself.

How clever is this clip?

Today's second post and I was thinking that most of us are good at something. You might be a great golfer and your friend might be a great interior designer. That doesn’t necessarily mean you would design a golf course in a bedroom! Though this clip is really clever stuff, some of it is quite boring. I’m not even going to mention the tune as it bothers the bejaysus out of me. Take a look and let me know what you think.

The very first Shatner Friday

From now on Friday will be known as Shatner Friday. No other words are needed except Enjoy.

The Lilyest Hobo

I’ve never written a hit single. I’m not saying I haven’t attempted it but it’s just not an easy thing to do. Let’s just say you’re Lily Allen and you’ve written a hit single. You’d be entitled to be fairly happy about it. In 1958 there was a film called ‘The Littlest Hobo’ which spawned a Canadian tv show of the same name which last ran from 1979 – 85. The stories always centered around a stray German Shepherd who wanders from town to town, helping people in need. I know what you’re thinking and it does sound a lot like Lassie but the main difference was that The Littlest Hobo didn’t have an owner. Despite the attempts of many people to adopt him, he preferred to be on his own, and would head off by himself at the end of each episode. A musician by the classy name of Terry Bush wrote the theme tune called ‘Maybe Tomorrow’ and back in the day everyone knew the song because the tv programme was shown all over the world. Terry Bush never wrote a hit single as such but he has made some serious money from that tune. Recently I was wondering what the Lily Allen ‘It’s not fair’ song would sound like if it was mixed with ‘Maybe Tomorrow’. I reckon it might go something like this:

See the goat in the boat

I received an email from a disgruntled person who didn’t like the last two Flight of the Conchord posts. Just for you, have some more of the same! This one is called ‘I told you I was freekie’. ps: Your ‘Die Bastard Die’ t-shirt is in the post.

Buisness Time

Dave usually leaves a comment on the posts. After yesterdays Flight of the Conchords offering, Dave pointed me in the direction of some live footage of the duo. These guys are ready to hit the big time. Take a peek at ‘Buisness Time’

Funny music stuff stuff

I like stuff, funny stuff and music stuff. So funny stuff + music stuff + stuff = funny music stuff stuff! If the funny music stuff stuff can sneak in a little bit of a positive message, all the better. Have a look at 'Flight of the Conchords' doing precisely that with a little something they call 'Sello Tape'

They don't make tv like this any more

A strange thing has started happening with the blog lately. You wouldn’t notice it if you didn’t know me but the blog is very much becoming an extension of me. When I say extension, I don’t mean extensions like the things that girlies put in their hair but the blog is becoming ever more infused with my personality. Sometimes I might start writing something which is half serious but within a short space of time, I'll see the funny side of it and write about that instead. This is very much how I see life. The tiniest bit of humour in the seriousness will get me through it. More than likely, this is as a result of watching Sesame Street when I was growing up. I doubt if there will ever be a children's tv show again which taught positivity in the way Sesame Street did. I was going to post a clip of Sesame Street but I didn't know which clip to choose. Then I remembered that Bobby McFerrin appeared on the show and I found this piece of art. Let me know what you think.