Different folks need different strokes

Some people slam revolving doors. Some like to throw darts at cats. To reduce stress, we prefer a good mock. Stress is something which rarely bothers us. When it does rear it’s head, we usually think of all our faults and when those 2 seconds are over, we’re stress free again! We do however realise that stress can bother less brilliant people and this is why we present the Stress Reduction Kit:
 

Understanding Isabella

Jill Y’s good friend Isabella is single at the moment so she thought she would try her hand at online dating. Isabella is intelligent, interesting and has an outgoing personality. She found a respected website and within a short amount of time, had quite a few men who wanted to meet up with her. She was telling us that one guy had placed the following on his profile ‘looking for a woman who loves vacuum cleaning’. Part of getting to know and understand Isabella is understanding her sense of humour. She only went and sent this picture to the guy:

Misunderstanding or purposely done

People may be different but when it comes down to it, we basically want the same things: to love and be loved unconditionally, to be accepted amongst our peers and to count the amount of cats on the internets. Individualism comes into the picture when one person might like Bon Jovi and another may want to remove them from the public consciousness – for the record, I massively subscribe to the latter. Someone may like reading that big book by Tolstoy ‘War and Peace’ whereas some may prefer comic books – for the record, I massively subscribe to the latter. Jill Y and I have been together for a while now and we have similar tastes in a lot of stuff including music, art and porn. When we sit down to compose for It’s good to mock, it’s important to be relaxed as creativity flows best when the body and mind are at ease. For this reason, I asked her to keep her eyes open for a new armchair as the old one we have is as old as the invention of the telephone. It could be a misunderstanding or purposely done and while I do like her choice, I never asked for an ‘arms chair’:

Tales from the grown ups

Grown ups love saying things like ‘Back in my day, there was no iPod. We used to sit around the piano with great uncle Rachmaninoff who would play his own tunes to us and it done us no harm” or “Back in my day, there was no email. We used to use homing pigeons to deliver mail and the letters always arrived within 4 weeks and it done us no harm”.

I’m not sure if I like the sound of the tales from the grown ups although the ladies of the day had some sweet ideas:

It’s good to mock – treating everyone the same since always.

People who act like animated morons when they see a baby. People who try to communicate with a baby by making stupid faces and stupid noises. People who become 'baby-like' when they come into contact with a baby. We have no time for these people at all. There's more than one way to skin a cat but we're not talking about skinning a cat right now and why would anyone want to skin a cat anyway? At It's good to mock, we don't believe in treating a baby any different than anyone else. I think this picture of Jill Y's nephew Dill Y and I, meeting up for our weekly discussion on western philosophy, shows exactly what I mean:

 


Disclaimer: It's good to mock would like to state that we do not endorse Tennents for babies (we asked Tennents if they would like our endorsement but they didn’t like the picture of Dill Y smoking) and would like to point out that there are much better beers for babies on the market.

We’re great

In 1955, award-winning playwright Tennessee Williams sent a copy of his new play, Orpheus Descending, to friend Marlon Brando along with a letter. Brando wrote a letter back explaining that he read the play three times and thought it was the best work he had ever done. He also wrote ‘I have been afraid for you sometimes, because success sings a deadly lullaby to most people’.

Today, It’s good to mock celebrates success. We will however heed Brando’s warning not let it get to our massively confused heads. Cast your mind back to yesterday and you may remember the mask we gave you of the legend that is Christopher Walken. A mere few hours have passed and we received a picture via the medium of electronic mail from reader Tom ‘too much time on his hands’ Donnelly. Not only did Tom make the mask, he creatively coloured in Walken’s hair and lips:

We salute you Tom and will recognise your genius like talent for many moons to come for it is people like you, who make life worth living. Much respect.

Always Walken the bright side of life

We’ve been called a lot of things and believe it or not, not all have been massively respectful but we like to think of ourselves as more than just a bunch of mockers. At It’s good to mock, we like  to use clichés like ‘push the envelope’ and ‘embrace change’ about as much as we like clowns and we don’t like clowns one little bit as they scare the bejaysus out of us. We’re just about ready to start a new project called ‘trying to make the world a better place without attempting to remove Bon Jovi from the realm of consciousness’. Realising that this is not going to be easy, we’re attempting a major change to society that will be applauded forever. When we reveal what we are attempting to do, your senses may be somewhat overwhelmed and not know how to react. When and if this happens, we ask that you take hold of your faculties and breath slowly – this will hopefully bring some semblance of normality back. Are you ready? Here goes:


We all know Christopher Walken is the greatest person to ever grace us with his presence. Our proposal is to create a Christopher Walken for everybody, everywhere, thus bringing joy to the masses. Please take a moment to compose yourself. You heard us correctly. Please note, these are not just fancy words we throw at you. We have thought this through, leaving no stone unturned. Please see below, our detailed instruction. If you can’t follow this, kindly leave this blog now for you are not worthy. Can you even read? I mean seriously? Enough already, bear witness:

Q. Why do women cry - A. Because someone put Baby in a corner.

Life is all about learning and if there's one thing we like at It's good to mock, it's learning about women. Some might say, trying to understand a woman is like trying to understand something that's very hard to understand. We put on our lab coats and felt all scientist like. There's no point in walking before you can crawl because you'll spill the milk and won't have a leg to stand on so we decided to take what we thought was a simple question and work on it slowly and methodically. The question we chose was: Why do women cry? We called in a few favours and got a friend to bring in a calculator. We shut ourselves off from the distraction of all those lolcats on the internets and knuckled down to some serious work. After a lot of head scratching, we were very itchy on the top of our heads and settled on the following answer. We’re  not going to lie to you and say it’s a scientific fact but we think we the following speaks for itself:

¿Cómo Te Llamas?

Today, It's good to mock rights a wrong. We're here to dispel a myth that Hollywood would have you believe is true. We've been working behind the scenes, gradually collecting evidence and the time has come for us to present our findings and simultaneously create what will become a familiar word in everyday language  - 'Llamagate'. We all like blockbuster films and the grown ups of Hollywood would like you to believe that they create fresh, original and innovative cinematic experiences but today we rip open that facade and reveal a startling truth. That last film that you went to see was not created by Hollywood but by llama's! I know it sounds strange when you hear it for the first time and for this reason, I'll say it again 'That last film that you went to see was not created by Hollywood but by llama's'. Because of our history and insistence that it was aliens and not the Swedish that invented meatballs, allow us to produce definitive evidence that llama's got there before Hollywood:

 

Coffee Lovers

If there’s two things we like at It’s good to mock, it’s coffee and coffee making machines that make coffee. If we don’t drink enough coffee we become as  impatient as a patient waiting on a patent for his cure for impatience. Huh! Jill Y drinks so much coffee that part of her face now appears on certain coffee cups:







As a guy, I don’t use the word ‘love’ too often but I’m beginning to worry as I think we actually love coffee. Because coffee is left alone in the house all day, we wondered if it ever became amorous and made a move on some other coffee. It turns out that it does:

The inflatable crown of thorns

Back in a different time, a time we like to call Yesterday, the good disciples of It's good to mock, brought you a selection of unusual games that you won't find in any game shops, no matter how hard you try. Today, we bring you another unusual game, unusual in the sense that it is not usual. Suppose you wanted your child to relive the death of Christ and you weren't quite sure how to approach the subject. What if you wanted to place a crown of thorns on your child's head but you weren't in possession of said thorns at that particular moment in time. You'd probably think that there was no game available that could possibly help and you'd be wrong. If we ever become toy makers, we'd stock the Jesus Hat Kit, quicker than you could say Stigmata:

We mock everyone equally, we have no favourites.

Our intention is to mock and we like to think that we occasionally do it well and you get a laugh out of it. Our intention is not to offend and this can sometimes be tricky. The problem is that something that might massively offend you, might not offend me and vice versa. This is the obstacle we faced when we were putting together the following post. What you're about to see is some rarely seen board games. Why they've been locked away will become obvious. Ordinarily, we'd post pictures and commentary. However, this time we thought it would be best to show them without comment, thus becoming mockers who offend all equally, without bias.

Church of lol

Today, It's good to mock reports on a craze that's been doing the internet thing in a massive way. In what can only be described as the greatest discovery since the last discovery before penicillin, everywhere you look, people who never lol'd before are suddenly been turned on to what it's like to lol and are immediately reaping the rewards. Jim 'over the top' Jansen describes the first time he lol'd as a religious experience similar to the first time he saw the Coen Brothers 'The Big Lebowski'. Jim, who now goes by the name Rev. Jim 'over the top' Jansen, offers the following startling pictures and invites all to his Church of lol:

These Three Things

We like to set targets at It's good to mock. Yesterday we decided to do three things. They had to be three useful things and the only condition is that they had to be done quickly, the quicker the better. Here's how the tasks worked out.

 

Jill Y decided to read 'Everything Men Know About Women'

 

 

I decided to graphically show kids how bad McFast food is with the aid of a McCrab and McCockroach

 

 

Phil Y decided to finally crack math’s

 

 

Here’s an idea, now make me rich.

Like most people these days, we've been forced to make cutbacks at It's good to mock HQ. We like to think of ourselves as forward thinking, entrepreneurial types and are always trying to think of ways to make money to keep Jill Y in new shoes.

NB: Before we get into this, does anyone else think Jimmy Choo is a damn good name for a shoe designer?

NB2: Jimmy Choo was born into a family of shoemakers and that's gospel 'cause Google said so.

One of the massively horrible things about the state of our economy is that there are so many people out of work and as a result of this, there are too many people applying for the few jobs that do appear on the market. Companies don't have time to interview everybody and this is where my latest totally amazing idea comes in. I've been wearing my thinking cap (don’t think, I don’t have a cap with 'thinking' on it) and may have found a way for companies to narrow down the unsuitable candidates before they even get to the interview stage. This is just the first draft but I think you'll get the idea and we'll be very rich, very shortly. Suppose you are a firm of Computer Engineers and you want to hire someone. You hire me to come up with a campaign which is going to weed out the weaklings before you even speak to them: 

 

 

Stately Statements

A man can only do one thing at a time.

The above statement is very nearly true. A man can only do one thing at a time but he'll very gladly do two women at a time.

William James, an influential American psychologist during the late 1800s said that we only use 10% of our brains. I wasn’t around in the 1800s so I didn’t hear him say it myself but I can’t say I believe or agree with him. Having said that, I wouldn’t say I use much more than 10% of my brain. I’m not very good at retaining information because I get bored very easily and my feeble mind tends to go walkabout. Lately, If I look at certain pictures, they somehow make me think of certain songs. I then can’t get the song  out of my head and there’s no more room for further information. Let me give you an example:

 

 

 

 

Seriously? WTF?

You might be sitting on a bus, empty except for the driver and you. You might be in a bad mood. The only thing that might put you in a worse mood is someone getting on the bus, ignoring the many empty seats and for some inexplicable reason, deciding to sit next to you. You might begin to grit your teeth and half quietly say to yourself "Why on an empty bus with all these empty seats, did this guy choose to sit next to me?" You might be tempted to throw a ‘Seriously WTF?’ glance in his direction but you don't see why you should have to. There's no reason to his madness, no sense to his senseless act of shunning all those empty seats. You just can’t seem to figure out what has gone wrong with the world. Has the earth shifted off its axis? Do people now come with magnets attached or do some people just take pleasure in stealing my personal space? How are kids supposed to grow up in such a crazy world as this? Where did it all go wrong? I blame the person who’s fault this is. There’s only one thing which is worse than this and it’s kind of similar except there’s no bus and no seats involved: