McScared

Jill Y’s friend Jessica is friends with a sister of Carmel’s sisters friend. She was telling her that she didn’t want her kid to be eating any of that McFast food stuff so she decided to show her a scary McClown feeding a kid with  junk food. It’s good to mock is massively impressed with this inventiveness and we’re going to paper little Dill Y’s room with the same picture:



Sleep tight little Dill Y, we bet  you won’t be asking for any bad food for a long, long time!

Dill Y – the little genius

Little Dill Y is getting far to clever for my liking. You might think that it’s great having a genius in the family and you might be right – it rocks. It does however, have some negative connotations. If I remember correctly, I was 14 before I invented gravity. Little Dill Y has only gone a cut a deal with a famous toy manufacturer to become the face of their new toy and he’s only 3. If this keeps up, he’ll be able to put me through college when he’s 18 but I’m not quite sure if Jill Y is going to approve of the product he’s advertising:

Spot the difference

Little Dill Y may be only 5 but he knows more about Photoshop than I ever will. Photoshop is a great learning tool. We usually take two pictures, change one slightly and watch as the little guy spots the difference. For some reason, he’s having a problem with this photo. I know which one I prefer:

Tradition

Tradition is important to us at It’s good to mock HQ. My father passed on these words to me and today I pass them on to little Dill Y

Infinity and beyond

This was always going to going to happen one day but I never thought it would happen so soon. Jill Y kept on telling me that if I insisted on playing that Metallica song with the lyrics ‘nothing lasts forever’ that it would have an effect on Little Dill Y. He’s 5 now and has been listening to that song for the last 6 years. He’s only gone and made something that does last forever:

How stuff does stuff

I know as much about setting a good example as I do about the fundamental economic structure of work and property. Before little Dill Y came along, this didn’t matter at all but now things have massively changed. He’s going to grow up with the things that I didn’t have such as common sense and a non fear of nuns. I know he’s only 4 years of age and he may not totally understand this but I slipped it on to his laptop as a screensaver. I call it: The mechanism of how stuff does stuff’:

A genius in the making

If there’s one thing we take seriously at It’s good to mock HQ, it’s nothing. We don’t take anything serious and that’s the way it will stay. In order to successfully mock, you need a clear head. We want little Dill Y growing up with a vivid imagination so we play games which encourage him to be creative. We gave him the following picture without words and asked him to caption it:


 
Massively impressed, we asked him to make a butterfly and he only went and done us so proud with this little beauty:



We were on a roll and thought we’d ask him for one of the many charges brought against OJ Simpson. Imagine our delight when he answered Assault & Battery:



To say we we're proud is an understatement. He’s 5 now. Imagine the standard of work he’ll be doing when he’s 7!

Neighbour from hell

It’s good to mock HQ is situated in a quiet, pensive location in the scenic hills of a far away place. Our neighbours are free thinking, creative spirits with an insatiable passion for originality and inventiveness. Unfortunately, the inventiveness is about to turn into an inventive mess as we get a new neighbour from hell. We could live with Paris Hilton or even OJ Simpson but surely this is the worst thing that has happened since Windows Vista was released:
 

Message to some people

Some people are funny

Some people are honest

Some people are nervous

Some people are musical

Some people are talented

Some people are massively confused

Some people are pathetic

Some people are helpless

Some people are dangerous

Some people are generous

Some people are mean

Some people are quiet

Some people are loud

Some people are annoying
 
Some people are mockers

Some people are amateurs

Some people are professionals

Some people are prisoners

Some people are complainers

Some people are enthusiasts

Some people are exceptional

Some people are losers

Some people are embarrassed

Some people are lost

Some people are confident

Some people are big

Some people are conscious

Some people are brilliant

Some people are aware

Some people are Swedish

Some people are animals

Some people are opportunists

Some people are offensive

Some people are competitive

Some people are economical

Some people are scary

Some people are free

Some people are guilty

Some people are tired

Some people are hoarders

Some people are entwined

Some people are athletes

Some people are brutal

Some people are nighthawks

Some people are winners

Some people are ready

Some people are followers

Some people are believers

Some people are shadows

Some people are modern

Some people are statistics

Some people are liars

Some people are crazy

Some people are thirsty

Some people are eager

Some people are awkward

Some people are phoney

Some people are superstitious

To the superstitious:

Message to new internet users

At It’s good to mock we like to think we provide a service. We’re not quite sure what that service is but we like to think we provide it anyway. Today we act as an intermediate between those who are used to the internet and those who are new to it. This could get really hard to explain so we’ll just pass on the message we were asked to pass on, in our capacity as message passer on’ers:



NB: It’s good to mock does not condone or subscribe to above message. We are merely passing on on the message so don’t shoot the messenger. 

Warning

There’s so much bad stuff in food these days that we’ve become obsessed with reading the ingredients and this can only be a good thing. Jill Y is allergic to food which is not colour coordinated with her bag and shoes. As you can imagine, this causes a lot of problems. We get a lot of food from the local market where they tend to label things properly. On occasion though, things can get a little confusing:

Conspiracy Theory Sheep

Dodgy Dan, the dreadful Shepherd from deep downtown in the deadly district of Devon, has been feeding Trevor the sheep with some serious brain food but things have started to get out of hand. Trevor has got so smart that he’s started to figure out something that he has no right to know:



To be cont…

That’s our son

Kids grow up so fast these days but this has some advantages. Coming in at number 1 in our top 1 list of things we’re proud of at It’s good to mock HQ, is this classic picture of little Dill Y getting his first ticket.




In case you were wondering, the reason he got the ticket is because he was speeding. He tried to explain to the officer that his wife was giving birth but he didn’t believe him because he’s 3 years of age!

Good Woman Wanted

I don’t have a great attention span and tend to get bored quite easily. This is because my brilliant mind constantly needs to be amused. Jill Y and I went shopping the other day and she went to try on a dress. I waited outside and as I had some pen and paper, decided to write a personal ad and put it in the shop window. I don’t understand why she didn’t see the funny side of it when she came back. I thought it was quite good:

 

An orchestra of feline brilliance

Times are tough and money’s as tight as a tight fisted bank manager. Jill Y and I have started doing odd jobs here and there to earn some extra cash. I thought I was clever when I began making money selling original insults on the internet. This however, pales into insignificance when compared to Jill Y’s brilliant innovation. She’s only gone and invented a brand new musical instrument which she likes to calls ‘Feline Piano’:

Check out Jill Y’s little experiment

Sometimes I think Jill Y’s experiments shouldn’t be allowed at all. Sure, the time machine is fine and has some good uses. One day I’ll go back to March 2nd, 1962 which just so happens to be the day Jon Bon Jovi was born and do what has to be done.

To paint all women with the same brush doesn’t work because there are a lot of women to paint and the brush is only so big. Having said that, Jill Y ticks all the girlie boxes: she loves shoes and handbags, loves crying for no reason at all, loves talking about emotional stuff like emotions, loves Cosmo quizzes, chocolate, ice cream and of course family get togethers.

The one girly thing she doesn’t like is puppies. She’s more of a kitten person. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that she loves kittens more than chocolate which is why I don’t really understand this little experiment at all. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If that’s true, this one is worth a million:

We can all live in harmony even if the harmony is induced

I love Jill Y because she reminds me of me. She has the same blatant disregard for Bon Jovi as I have, loves writing songs for the deaf and shares my passion for shouting at mice. Jill Y is a carefree spirit with a heart of gold. She’s the type of person who always puts herself before others and would gladly give you her last disease. Thanks to our good friend Sugartastic Daddy John, she ‘acquired’ a Macaque and a Pigeon. When you see this picture, you’ll probably go all girly and not even cringe but you didn’t see what substances Jill Y fed the Macaque to make him feel the love:

 

Q. What’s the opposite of a Musician? A. A big haired, talentless, good for nothing, middle of the road, ear wrecking, excuse of an actor aka JBJ.

This world is such a surprising place. If you had asked us last week if we would ever praise Bon Jovi, we would of laughed until we stopped. The very thought of praising Bon Jovi, hurts like the last time you twisted a knife in your abdomen for a laugh. And so we arrive at a place we never thought we’d see. If there’s one thing Jill Y’s sister thought us, it’s ‘never play leapfrog with a unicorn’ but that has nothing to do with this story at all. If there’s one thing Jill Y’s sister’s 2nd best friend, thought us, it’s ‘always do what you are afraid to do’. We’re afraid to praise Bon Jovi’s  hair because it’s just not natural, just like his hair. Speaking of natural, the praising of Bon Jovi or indeed his hair, isn’t. Speaking of Bon Jovi’s hair in a complimentary fashion is naturally unnatural for us. I think you get what we’re tying to say but if for some unnatural reason, you don’t, please see below:

Nuns with guns – If this doesn’t scare you, nothing will.

Very little scares the bejayusus out of us at It’s good to mock HQ. There are however, a couple of notable exceptions. We told you recently of our fear of nuns -  Sphenisciphobia. The only other thing that really bothers us, is the fear of guns – Hoplophobia. Imagine then, how scared we were, when we were sent this picture:



NB: We’re going to write to the people who put words together and ask them to create a new word:

nunagunaphobia – the fear of nuns with guns

To be cont…

It’s your mind, don’t blame us

We're here to mock not to shock but we should probably apologise in advance for what we’re about to do. There's two ways you can approach this. You can just accept it for what it is and get on with your life (we recommend this) or you can try and figure out how it happened (if you choose this route, please expect to lose sleep as you try to work out the workings of the human mind). We should probably just get on with it, so here goes:

It’s good to mock *Exclusive

We’re not the first geniuses to warn about the dangers of eating that McBurger stuff and we doubt if we’ll be the last. We’ve been talking to people who know things about stuff and they told us that the ingredients they put in their products are addictive. We were massively concerned about this and think you will be too when we show you the McEvidence:



* not exclusive

To be cont…

Q. How many Sugartastic Daddy John’s does it take to come up with a joke? A. There is only one Sugartastic Daddy John

Our friend Sugartastic Daddy John isn’t usually funny but lately he’s been sending some hilarious emails. We’ve been laughing so much that it hurts like the way your tongue hurts when you accidently staple it to the wall. There are two types of jokes, the one’s where you laugh for a moment and the ones where you just want to applaud the genius for coming up with such brilliance. This one falls into neither of the above categories:

Big Swinger and the big stinger

We’re red blooded mockers. When Jill Y and I come home from work, there’s nothing we like more than getting deep down and dirty on the sofa. We’ve done things on that sofa that would shock Paris Hilton. If the sofa could talk it would narrate tale after tale of adult orientated entertainment which I doubt are even legal in some states. Allow me to frame the picture:

Our good friend Danny "Big Swinger” Small, had been staying with us for a while, while he tried to choose his favourite 6 women. We spent some time helping him choose his top 6 and a lot of soul searching was done. The day arrived for Big Swinger to leave and Jill Y and I returned home from work to be greeted with a ‘present’. Don’t get me wrong, we appreciate the fact that he got us a gift but getting down deep and dirty on the new sofa that he bought us, has become quite a painful event:

They say “good things come in small packages”, I’ll let you know in a while if that’s true or not.

Right so, this is the type of story that can get massively confusing so pay attention.  Jill Y is a scientist and gets to work on some pretty cool experiments. I’d love to tell you about the time machine but I’m not allowed to. The plan was for one of us to stay at home and wait for the new toilet to arrive while the other would help our friend Sugartastic Daddy John, to buy a furry dice for his Ford Gran Torino. Jill Y wanted to work on experiments so she remained at home and I went to see Sugartastic.  About 47.25 minutes later, I received an email from Jill Y. She’s always sending cool stuff and when I clicked on the email I thought it was very funny but then I read the words that came with the image and became nervous. The email read:

Hurry home honey and you’ll see if I made myself little or the house, big.



I think I should probably head home now to see if I’ve to live with a dwarf size Jill Y or an oversized house. Later


To be cont…