Shocking the unshockable

Thirsty Dave is just a regular guy who happens to consume copious amounts of alcohol. He's a very focused individual and very little gets him down. He used to be a priest until I told him there was no god and he just nodded in agreement and went for a beer. He used to be an advocate of socialism until I told him that socialism works but only in theory and he just nodded in agreement and went for a beer. He used to use Windows until I told him it was full of bugs and showed him Linux and he just nodded in agreement and went for a beer. That night, I decided to go for a beer with him and we headed to his local. When we reached our destination, I watched him lose the plot completely as his mouth hung open in disbelief and he cried uncontrollably like a kid who just realised that Dec 25th has nothing to do with a white bearded guy in a red suit. These are the very words which caused him to weep: