Small house or big cat

Every now and again, Jill Y does something that makes me step back in amazement with mouth wide open in disbelief. As a Scientist, she works on some pretty cool secret experiments although sometimes things get weird. Recently, I drank something she made and was convinced I was living inside a game of Pac-man. She sent an email a few moments ago and I'm actually scared to go home. All the email said was:

Hey honey, 

Have a look at this picture and see if you can tell if you’re coming home to a small house or a big cat:



To be cont…

Jill Y’s Nerdy Nephew

Yet again, Jill Y and I had the mother of all arguments. I won’t bore you with the details. Let’s just say that I thought she would appreciate the nurses uniform but apparently I don’t look good in white. I just don’t know what’s wrong with the world these days. As it turns out, I managed to calm her down and stop the throwing of sharp objects by agreeing to have a man to man chat with her 14 year old nerdy nephew. His dad couldn’t really do it as he’s doing a 10 – 15 stretch for trying to sell sand to the Arabs. I went to see her nephew and worked my magic. I won’t say it was the easiest thing I’ve ever done. I mean as soon as I saw what he was reading, I knew I had my work cut out:



To be cont…

A unique movie going experience

There’s a new cinema open in my part of the world. It’s not a big fancy cinema that shows the latest blockbusters but more of family based business. Truth be known, it’s not actually a cinema at all. Our friend Sugartastic Daddy John acquired a room with a projector and shows movies at the weekend. It’s always a good night out but I’m not sure if the films would suit everyone. Sugartastic is a would be director. At least he would be a would be director if he had any talent but please don’t tell him I said that. At first I thought he was just getting a bit confused and mixing the films up. Now I think he does it on purpose. He goes out of his way to make sure the movie going experience is a unique night out for his customers and brings out some pretty interesting titles. One things for sure, you won’t see these films anywhere else. The first week he was showing that Spock Bond film:

  
The following week he had the one with the guy who had the birds on his hands:



My favourite was last week. He showed that Tom Hanks War/Dance film:

Time to give something back

Sometimes I think we make things too easy for you. You drop by, maybe have a bit of a laugh at the nonsense. Maybe you might count how many times there's a mention of Bon Jovi hatred. Maybe you might wonder how Little Dill Y can be 5 years old one day and 4 years old the next. If you read the posts and go all the way back to the birth of IGTM, you'll notice that we’ve never once asked you for anything. We were chatting away at the HQ and thought it was time you gave something back to us. It's time for some mental stimulation boys and girls. Allow us to demand your attention for a moment and obey our demand:



Answers to itsgood@itsgoodtomock.com to reach us no later than Sep 32nd. The first 5 entries out of the hat wins the hat.

The Jokers Cat

One of the hardest things Jill Y and I have ever done was tell Little Dill Y that the actor who played The Joker is dead. Some might say that that’s a bit heavy for a 5 year old to hear but he reacted okay to the news that Santa and Bon Jovi don’t exist so we thought we’d chill him out with another dose of good old fashioned honesty. To lighten the mood a bit, we showed him a picture of what The Joker’s cat might look like: 



And then we told him the cat was dead too.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

We thought it was time for one of our famous ‘IGTM Investigative Specials’. If you’re reading this, you will more than likely know what the internet acronym ‘WTF’ means. If not, take a guess and you’ll probably guess right. We decided it was time to find out where it came from and were prepared to put all our resources into the task. It turns out, we hadn’t very far to look as the kids have been eating it for breakfast all along:

Spheniscidaeaphobia - fear of nuns. If I add that to my fear of listening to Bon Jovi, I now have a grand total of 2 phobias

Lately I’ve come to realise that my fear of nuns goes a long way to explaining why I consider March of the Penguins, the greatest horror movie ever made. Speaking of movies, we put on The Godfather the other night. When it was over, I done some work on a graphical representation of Don Corleone’s offers:

All's well that ends well

At It’s good to mock, we’re not shy about telling you how clever little Dill Y is. Today we thought we would show you the other side of the little brat at his worse. He’s only gone and got himself an audition for the new Lassie film. He’s up for the part of the kid who loves his dog. The truth is, he likes dogs about as much as I like Bon Jovi and I hate Bon Jovi as much as Morrissey hates eating meat. To be honest, we don’t hold much hope for him getting the part, especially when you see the little audition piece he’s prepared:

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it

Sometimes you just can't help yourself. You know it's wrong and you tell yourself it's wrong but you don't listen to yourself and then you wonder why you're talking to yourself in the first place. You try to keep it together and maintain some sense of sanity but sanity has decided to  leave you alone at the worst possible moment. You stare at the sign on the window and are filled with the type of excitement Madonna only gets from a Malawian orphanage. While staring at the sign, one hand somehow finds a sheet of paper while the other finds a marker and before you can say Rhys watched Ross switch his Irish wristwatch for a Swiss wristwatch, it happens. You have written words, attached them to the sign and now there is a very different sign where the old one once was:




Then you run away laughing like the demented little mocker you are.

Jenny Aniston Wii

It won’t be the first time I’ve been called a child and it certainly won’t be the last. To me, a child is someone who looks at the world in awe and amazement and gets excited about things like stacking cups, eating 200 baked beans in a minute and stalking dogs so I guess I am a child. Jill Y is a legend and we usually don’t get on like a plugged in toaster in a bath. Having said that, she has some stupid issue with my new game:

Taking the piss

Jill Y has a great interest in human behaviour. I couldn’t care less about it, preferring to concentrate on my interest in memorising songs backwards while counting busses. As a Scientist, she gets to work on some cool experiments. Some of them are quite technical but the latest one is quite a simple one. One thing I will tell you is that the bottle was full at the start of the experiment:

Cats the way to do it

Little Dill Y – Occupation: 5 year old. Dill Y doesn’t like cats but does occasionally play with them:



Jill Y -  Occupation: Scientist. Jill Y doesn’t like cats but knows a good thing when she sees it. The washing machine was broke so she made the cat a little ‘something’ to drink. Now she has her own personal feline washing machine:



Bill Y –Occupation: Loser. I don’t like cats but I do like drawing ducks and you will too when you learn how easy it is:

Women – Smarter than men from day one

I sometimes wish I was smart. I don’t know many big words or fancy sayings. I’m not very good at making things or indeed making money. Jill Y is different. She knows lots of big words and fancy sayings. She’s very good at making things and making money. I asked her how she became so smart and she told me it was a “woman’s thing” that goes back to Eve in the Garden of Eden. She explained how Eve used creativity to turn a negative situation into a positive one and that this creativity can be found in all women, to the present day. I told her that her words made as much sense to me as a left handed Mars Bar and that I hadn’t a clue what she was waffling about. She answered, “of course you don’t, you’re a man”. She then started going on about God telling Eve that she could eat anything in the Garden of Eden except the apples and as soon as Eve heard this, she immediately wanted an apple. Jill Y explained how Eve very creatively got around this:  

Freshly Squeezed OJ

I won’t bore you with the details but at It’s good to mock HQ, we mock people, places, things and Bon Jovi. We don’t intentionally offend even when temptation buys us a beer and offers to let us take his Scandinavian girlfriend out for the evening. Having said that…

We were sent the following picture:

 

Again, I feel I must stress that our intention is not to offend but you, my moronic friend in the picture, are asking for it. If it wasn’t for your attention grabbing behaviour, it would never have even crossed our minds to respond with the following:



Anyway, on the off chance that you stop been a sad pathetic, Bon Jovi loving loser and see this post, please try relax and enjoy it for what it is – a joke! If you really need to learn how to laugh at the world, try laughing at yourself first. You’ll be surprised how good it feels and if you would like a copy of our unfinished masterpiece:

‘Learn how to stop been a sad, pathetic, Bon Jovi lover in 245 days’

Send an email to itsgood@itsgoodtomock.com

Now, what can I drink that is rich in vitamin C and comes from oranges?

It’s good to cat mock

Cat Mocking – You probably think it doesn’t exist and you'd be wrong. Why wouldn’t Cat Mocking exist?

It’s a real as the wheels on this bike

It’s as real as this real chicken

It’s as real as this cat, mocking another cat

Little Dill Y – Making us as proud as a pride of lions harassed by a punch drunk peacock.

When I was 5, I definitely wasn’t as cool as this. We gave little Dill Y the following graph to study.


He went all quiet for a moment and we thought it went over his head. We couldn’t of been more wrong. Not only did he understand it, he gave us his own creative interpretation of it:

My thought process

Jill Y, like all women is a complex being. I’m about as complex as the plot of a Tom & Jerry cartoon. I remember the first time we went out like it was 12/12/2007.  This is because it actually was 12/12/2007 . I remember I was very focussed and while she waffled on about a variety of things, I listened intently but never swayed from my solitary thought.


To this day, she often says that all men are the same. This is simply not true because if all men were the same they would all be little mockers like me and trust me when I tell you, it’s best that they’re not.

I can’t get no sleep

Jill Y is getting a little obsessive about things. As far as she is concerned, everything happens for a reason and everything has a purpose. In the beginning, this was fun and I learned quite a lot about quite a lot. In Jill Y’s world everything has a mathematical equation and it’s getting to a stage where she attempts to find an answer for even the most basic things. The other night, I couldn’t sleep. When I woke up, she was at it again:
 

OMG – This new phone has GPS

We're a stubborn bunch of mockers who make mistakes and make them a lot. Every now and again, someone suggests that we should do things 'the right way'. The thing is, if we knew the right way to do things, we wouldn't be a bunch of mockers who make so many of those already mentioned mistakes.

One of my most recent mistakes was opening my mouth. I do this a lot and quite often say the wrong thing. Nine times out of 10, this is okay because the people around me, know that I don’t mean any harm and that I just say a lot of stupid things.

Jill Y’s brother’s, teacher’s, roommate Tom has a fondness for Jazz. He drinks with a mate of Sugartastic Daddy John who has a client who has a sister who recently had a baby. My big mouth decided to open itself and made a comment about her. I can’t remember the exact words but it was something about thinking that she wasn’t going to be a great mother and that her priorities were all wrong. My words got back to the mother who wasn’t impressed with what I had sad but I don’t care, I stand behind everything I said:

Excuse us for a moment, while we use words to say something

This doesn’t happen very often but every now and again, every once in a while, we wonder if mocking is where it’s at. Sure, it’s great being brilliant and brightening up your day but is there artistic merit in it? Are we really helping to save the world and make it a better place to live in? Maybe we should go in a different direction? We could easily turn our brilliant attention to making people happy. Our words would be simple and life changing:



To be cont…

We all know things but sometimes, not the right things

Sometimes it hurts to admit it but I don’t know everything. As you read this, you could know that a "French kiss" in the English speaking world is known as an "English kiss" in France. Somebody else might know that months that begin on a Sunday will always have a Friday the 13th. I know that beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.

If there’s two things we like at It’s good to mock, its learning new stuff, spreading the non-love for Bon Jovi and reading the ingredients of shoe polish. I recently spoke to my creators Mr. & Mrs. Bill Y and asked them about their retirement plans. I was delighted to know that they have everything under control: