Thirsty Dave and the Aqua Bar

Thirsty Dave usually looks at the glass 2 halves full but he’s been saying bad things about the Aqua Bar since it opened last year. His main grievance is that it’s a non alcohol bar and as such, doesn’t sell alcohol. To Thirsty Dave, a bar without alcohol is like a burger without meat and when he’s had his fully fledged fill of full fat alcoholic beer, he likes nothing better than a full fat mouth watering mighty meaty monster meat burger with cheese. Thirsty Dave explains in his own non sober words:

"Who the hell do they think they are, coming into our town and selling poxy mineral water and stuff? We go to a bar to get drunk, fall down, get up again, fall down again, get deep down and dirty with Scurvy Jane, get up again and tell our friends about the great night we had. Why would anyone want to go to a bar that doesn't sell alcohol? Without alcohol there's no fighting, no understanding the rules of any sport, no trying to get free drinks off the barman, no selling your jacket for a beer, no dancing on tables and no going to lap dancing clubs. Why would anyone not want to do all of these things?

If there’s one thing that’s certain in this world it’s that nothing is certain. In what must be one of the strangest things since the last strange thing, the owners of the Aqua Bar went on holiday and asked Thirsty Dave to look after the place while they were gone. The thirsty one immediately accepted. As soon as I heard about it, I just knew it wasn’t a good idea. As I write this, I’m outside the Aqua Bar with Thirsty Dave and this is the note he has just put on the door to promote the evening:




To be cont…