Some words are not as good as others

We're not big fans of the Irish playwright, essayist, and pamphleteer, George Bernard Shaw, preferring the more lucid writings of the Irish novelist, dramatist and screenwriter, Roddy Doyle. If for some reason, you are not picking up the implied sarcasm of the above sentence, please ask yourself the following question: why am I not picking up the implied sarcasm of the above sentence? Could it be that Shaw's Noble Prize for Literature in 1925 is in anyway comparable to Doyle's immortal line from The Snapper "I suppose a ride's out of the question?" In the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter which writer you prefer. What is important is that you follow these tips to avoid alligator attacks: