Too cool for cool

Jill Y got a new stopwatch so we decided to see how long I could go without mocking the extremely mock-able Bon Jovi. I must be losing my touch because for 60 seconds, I only managed to mention 56,987 reasons why they shouldn’t even be referred to as a band. We immediately went to the doctor who told me that I had high blood pressure and asked if I had something on my mind. I told him my mind wasn’t sufficiently advanced enough to have anything on it and that I needed to get home as Bon Jovi needed to be needlessly mocked. He nodded at me approvingly, the way a Doctor approvingly nods at his patient and again asked me if I had something on my mind. As he was a Doctor, I decided to tell him what was really bothering me. I told him my life had recently become aimless because I had seen the coolest thing ever and there couldn’t possibly be anything cooler on this planet. He asked me to be more specific and I showed him a picture of Jill Y’s grandmother’s earrings: