The great controller of my life talks about her new app

As a Scientist, Jill Y is always using words I don't understand such as logic, maths and Kardashian. I'm a simple minded, old skool type of guy who really only understands the necessity to remove the so called music of Bon Jovi from society, Paris Hilton and hula hoops. Imagine then, my surprise when the great controller of my life, told me about the new app that she was working on. I'm all for toasters and modern technology but there are just some things that I don't want an app to tell me: